To be Known and still be Loved

This is as good of a day as any to begin. 

God is a being that loves us.  I say, God is a force that is Love.  Charity, the Pure Love of God, is a love that rains down upon us, without Judgement.  And then, their is Knowledge. 

And then, there is Familiarity. 

Ooooohh, so much to explore here.  The root word being Family.  Lately, I have been attempting to define where those ever-present, magnetic familial waves are shipping us off to.   Are we riding those waves, sailing into the sunset of our existence, or are they breaching our sailing vessel, threatening to capsize our very lives?  And what about the Moon?  What about chasing the blood-orange moon that hangs so low and pregnant with Mysteries? 

Here is a note that I will write to my friend:

Dear Kari,

Thank you for being my friend.  Thank you for chasing the blood-orange moon with me.  Thank you for encouraging me when I am down.  Thank you for pulling into my driveway.  Most of all, thank you for knowing so many things about me, and not holding them against me. 

Yours always,

Jenni

Isn't that what we truly want from the members of our family?  If we really stop and think. 

To be Known.  And yet be Loved.

The balance can be thrown off, right?  We've all had our bright days, when the world is new and our hope for that day and the future burns brightly.  Human beings become dream conduits and our vision is surgically accurate.  We don't learn anything on those days, we only exist with what we know, and even forget what we think we know.  And then, even in the middle of the night, we are seized with panic.  And Panic is the enemy of Progress.  Because we are now engaged in battle, we put ourselves on Offense or Defense and, suddenly, there is no middle ground.  While good sportsmanship is still considered, there will remain only one Victor.  Us against Them.  For those on your team, there is room for Love.  But if you're going to win this perceived battle, there can be no Mercy for the other side.  You begin to strategize:

1)  Who you lookin' at?
2)  Number 13 is a good Dribbler, I need to trip her up
3)  Number 45 looks Menacing, he deserves a kick in the shins
4)  Don't touch me
5)  Number 37 is Pushy, push her back
6)  Number 22 is too Proud to accept my help up, make sure he knows I'll never help him again
7)  Yo Mama
8)  Number 25 is Beautiful,  who does he think he is
9)  Number 14 is Smart, she must think she's better than me
10) I'm angry right now, and you are in my way
11)  We have a storied past, I know you.  The only way for me to Win is if you get out of the way or I knock you over. 
12)  By the way, you tell stories about me, I'll tell stories about you.  And yo Mama.  

Etc.

What if a balance could be measured?  What if there existed, in our heads and in our hearts, a balance of Love and Knowledge?  What if we knew all of the amazingly damaging information about our Opponents, but Loved them anyway?  What if we decided that we didn't want to play this game any more.  What if we decided that we are all on the same team.  Or just the same.  And that everything we think we Know about them, we think we Know about ourselves.  And we could be wrong.  What if we were never on the Defense.  What if we were never on the Offense.  What if we learn how to exist with what we know, learn a little bit more each day and make sure that we Love that day as much as it Loves us.  What if we learn more about the human beings around us.  Even though we think we know Everything about them.  What if we don't.  What if we learn to believe that every human being has something to teach us. 

A child becomes a teenager the day that they turn 13.  Don't believe me?  That's okay.  I didn't believe them either. 

There is an awkwardness to these moments.  Beautiful and frightening all at the same time.  As we strive to understand what is happening before us, we begin to issue our labels.  We've read a lot of books and articles.  We know what hormones are rearing their ornery heads.  Gee whiz, we went through this our very selves. While therein lies a complicated discussion of our biological and psychological destinies, I offer a smaller, tidier ideology:  we Fear them, because we don't Know them anymore. 

I believe that this is not a process saved for the teenager.  I think that it happens in every stage of our lives, in every relationship that we form.  We have all felt the quivering desire to check and re-check our memory data base for that moment, the exact moment, when we felt like we were Sure of ourselves.  We were Sure that this child was This way, not That way.  We were Sure that he would never do anything like That to us.  We were so Sure that This belief would survive, not That belief.  We were Sure.  And now we're not.  We don't Know them anymore.  We Fear them. 

How does a human being act when it Fears?  Like any other animal on this Blue and Green Planet.  It either runs, like the wind, or fights, like an animal.  I propose a solution:

Get to Know them. 

Feel like you already Know them?  Drop that thought.  Having trouble?  Here is a new Game Plan:

1)  Another human being refuses to make eye contact, make sure they know that you love them
2)  Another human being is good at something, learn from them
3)  Another human being looks sad (tired, anxious, mean, broken), talk to them anyway
4)  Another human being refuses your touch, find joy in your freedom- and get a professional massage :)
5)  Another human being pushed you, pretend that she didn't
6)  Another human being won't accept your help, give them some space, and then continue to offer
7)  You and another human being talk about your Mothers, get to Know them again
8)  Another human being is beautiful, never pass up a chance to tell them so
9)  Another human being is smart, hopefully, she'll find the cure for that disease you're going to get
10) Another human being is angry and you're in their way, get out of their way
11) You and another human being have a storied past, discover again why you hung around so long
12) Another human being tells stories about you, examine the stories that you tell about them.  And their Mother. 

The Family provides a structure in which the human being may fail miserably, and yet be Loved entirely.  It is with this foundation in mind that we even consider forming one in the first place.  Not to be a perfect companion, not be a perfect parent or a perfect child or a perfect sibling, but to be Loved, to be Known. 

To be Known and still be Loved. 

And then, answering the call of the mourning Sirens that rise like bubbles from the depths of the Great Salty Lake, you will chase the setting blood-orange moon.  You and your friend, whom you Know and Love, will chit-chatter with nervous laughter as you drive and the moon sets, faster and faster.  It hovers, just there,  half of the very horizon.  Like a christening fire on the dawning of a new day.  There were only glimpses, and it didn't seem real.  But it was real.  Unlike a waking dream, you were both entitled to its vision.  Time was running out, and you made the very rational decision to turn the car around.  One, quick glance over the shoulder proved a fruitless exercise.  These special, Magical visions were built for more than one.